Irony at it's best

So I spent a good part of the day trying to organize my apartment into something that I would enjoy being in. I succeeded only mildly if you judge by cleanliness but majorily if you go by aesthetics. I think I did a fair job getting things going on an artistic level. Now if I could sort of carry that theme of decoration to all rooms of my house. What's hard is that my stuff is just stuff. I don't really buy it
'cause I think it will go with something else. I buy cause I like it. I've got asian mixed with folk, mixed with modern, mixed with country. Go figure.

However, it did feel good to get my glass/pottery on display. As I looked around my living room, it began to feel more mine and homey. I'm just afraid of things being cluttered.

I got a call from HR today. I am supposed to be starting work up on Monday for half days. I hope this will go well. I know that they need me so I am hoping that all will be okay. My biggest fear is that they will suck me in to NB world with C being gone. Until K is gone, I don't think I can really think about anything else.

I haven't been praying a lot lately so I wonder if my lack of clear sense of direction with respect to all this has to do with the fact that I am not sure how/where I should go to look for other opportunities. How hard I should push or whether or not I should even strive to make them happen.

This energy burst to want to clean my apartment is unlike anything that I've felt in the last couple of months. It makes wonder about two things: One am I goin manic and/or is the lack of lamictal/topamax. I actually hear the alarm clocks in the morning. Go figure 2.