Sheer Stupidity

A blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago....


Saturday, I had been running errands in my car when I had gotten thirsty and I had bought a vanilla milkshake from Chic-fil-a. I thought I had finished it all didn't bother to take the container from my car. (Silly me). When I get in my car to go to work on Monday I notice this rank smell, (worse than usual) and I look down at my center console to see milkshake container does indeed have remainents(I thought I had finished it all) - and it has started to curdle and stink up the place.

Me being in a rush, I thought I could wait until I was at work to throw out the offending item, but oh for the love of all things holy, the smell was horrible. So I stopped my car by the apartment complex dumpster to throw out the offending item.

It was then that I had one of those Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign moments.



I threw my keys in the dumpster.

Shit,


And the horrible thing about it was that they had just emptied the dumpster so my keys were just sitting on bottom sitting in a puddle of nasty garbage juicy just teasing me saying come get me idiot So here I am all dressed up for work, (wearing my hair down mind you) and now I have to devise a scheme to get the keys. I think hey no problem, I'll just go back into my apartment and get my broom.


Oh yeah that's right, my apartment key is on the key chain. I manage find a stick and start trying to play in the garbage garbage juice and just as I think I'm going to be rewarded with the prize of my keys, I fumble the stick and it too falls in the dumpster.

.
Here comes the saving grace, my next door neighbor comes to throw her trash away and I ask for a broom and chair. She obliges, and with a couple of grunts and groans I manage to get the keys. During the process however, I treat the passebys to a splendid view of my derriere swinging in the just rising sun. ..




Now the keys are muddied, greasy and covered with 30 apartments worth of refuse, My arms up to my elbows are covered with what I hope is mud and I rush back into my apartment to hose off. I have to change my clothes and rinse the keys.


So If I smell today, you can tell everyone that I went dumpster diving.