Friend Issues

Okay so here's the problem.

My best friend M. and I are on the outs and have been now for at least a month. She feels that I should be more forgiving of the people who hurt me in my past. She thinks that I've held onto too many things for way too long. She wants me to read this stupid book "Healed and Set Free" because she think that's gonna solve all my problems. The issue I have with the book is with the premise of concentrating on your own sin will allow you reflect more favorably on the sins of others who may have hurt you. This logic only serves to make me feel guilty not forgiving.

I think we have just come to stalemate where I have leaned on her for support too hard and for too long. I'm not sure if I just need to back away from the relationship completely. The hard thing is that I am the godmother to her oldest child. I am struggling with keep everything in perspective.

I can't be the way she wants me to be and she is sick of hearing me bitch and complain about my problems/mental illnesses. She doesn't want me to be miserable all the time. And I just can't get past what she wants me to get over. I think some part of this is the illness and that I'm really not trying to cop out. It's very hard explaining this to her because she is so deep in her faith that she thinks that if I just try harder I will get out of this: cause,well, that's how it worked for her.

The problem is that the illness at times takes such a hold of me that it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. While she may get this point still assumes that God is going to deliver me from it all if throug my will. However, It's not going to be the same way as he did for her. Because my relationship is unique just as is all of ours. I'm never going to have the same type of victory; it maybe better better; it may be worse. But right now it's not where I'm at. And I just don't know what to do cause I feel like she's forgotten what it's like to give Grace.