Okay when I'm really stressed, I sometimes get a hankering for some really good Puerto Rican food, (my version of comfort food). That being said, I know that I need to go to High street in my hometown to get it. So that's what I attempted to do tonight for supper. Unfortunately all the restaurants were closed, but I did get fed. I'll tell you how:
See there's this guy; I don't know his name, but he stands out on High street during different times of the day evangelizing. He is usually always smiling, listening to music on his headphones as he bee bops along. Occasionally he will wave to people. The thing that is cool about him is that he hold this very basic sign. Very simply it says "TRUST JESUS".
As I usually do, I honk my horn to show him my support. But then I got to thinking about why that man was there on that part of High street at that particular time. (He usually stands a little further down). It was then that I realized God was trying to tell me something. When I saw the man, I was caught up trying to figure out how I was going to be able to work a full time job and do my internship at the same time. (I was actually thinking so hard, I almost didn't see him) While I have most of the details figured out on how to make everything work,(I've been working this for a year now) there are still some major things that I just can't square away in my head just yet and I start my internship in less than 3 weeks. And of course, I have begun to worry. But seeing that sign and that man's faith snapped me back into reality.
I've come to the conclusion that I have became a little like Paul when Jesus commanded him to walk on water these last couple of weeks. Peter was doing fine until took his eyes of Jesus, and then he began to sink. For Peter, it was into the physical sea, for me it has become a sea of despair even though I've gotten this far. In my own skin, I still haven't figured out how its all going to work. And for me that has always meant that I have to work harder, control more, and worry more. But you know what; I'm seriously questioning this old fleshly philosophies these days. I'm not sure if its my re-dedication or what, but I think what boils down to is that I really have to trust more. Trust God, Trust Jesus, Trust myself and trust others.
So again I will pick up my cross once again and follow you Lord. Because I believe this is what you have called me to do. I am convinced you have a plan for me, plans to grow me and not to harm me. I know you want to give me the desires of my heart that are in accordance with your will for my life. Thank you for sending that earthly Angel disguised in the form of man to minister to me tonight. Proof positive that everything is used to your glory...
Like Kirk Franklin sings to God in the last lines of the song "Be Still and know I am God", Lord I know as Kirks say... "You got this... You Got this".
