Serenity

A lot has changed sinced the last time I wrote. I have come to the realization that I have an eating disorder. This eating disorder is going to kill me if I don't take some actions. I am working with a sponsor to try and deal with some of these demons. God I offer myself to the to build with me and to do with me thou wilt. God what the heck could you build with me today? I really have been a gym rat today. I really haven't done much serving others. I just wanted to move. It makesme feel so strong. Would you have me be a house wife for the for rest of my life? How am I going to make money to live. So many thoughts that I strive to run from. Today I did crossfit and walked 3.2 miles. Have I meditated? NO. Have I prayed No. I just feel like my sponsor is going to drop me. God what can you do with this willful child. I really feel like I have to make an ammend with this tupperware situation. I know it sounds completely hokey. It's the only thing that comes to mind. Relieve me of the bondage of self I have thoughts that are just about me and Gosh I want that to stop. I really don't want to call that person about the yarn. I just have these weird boundaries. Church and me are distant these days. I know draw near to him and he will draw near to me. Blah Blah. Perhaps I should do my bible study for next week. It will be the fourth week that I don't go. that I may better do Thy will Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness of those that I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy way of life. May I do thy will always My difficulties are my thoughts of myself. It's not doing what my husband would have me do. He would want me connect more with other people.