Fuckity Fuck, Fuck Fuck and other random thoughts

I don't know what it is but I really don't enjoy going back to work. I am extremely paranoid or something. I think everyone knows why I've gone back and what's going on. I also think that my pride is getting in the way. I've been delegated mail person and while that is enough to stress me out these days, I still have some of the pride left in me that I so don't want to be doing this crap.

So I've started posting and looking for other jobs. I'm seriously considering calling my mother. I'm not in trouble now, but I really don't want to get there financially. I wonder if I'm just using more tactics to try and keep control of a situation that I really have no control of.

Spoke with HR person today and believe it or not he seemed less hostile and more on my side. Maybe it was just me. I even made him laugh. Hopefully, some of the comments on my appraisal will get removed.

I think I need to up my meds to twice a day. I notice around 6pm that I start getting jittery.

I think I need to speak with my p-doc about these feelings of morose/paranoia I have. They are so not a good thing.

I am feeling extremely sarcastic right now. Hence the Lewis Black blog title.