Umm so I did it: I exercised

I really need to commit to this. I know it will help my mood tremendously. I am so afraid of hypomania. More so than the depression. I know depression. I know how it works and I know how to wallow in it. I know how to milk it for all its worth.

I am afraid of going hypomanic. I don't know the difference between being hypomanic and "normal" aka even keel. Just what the heck is that?

Anyhoot, getting back to the subject at hand: exercise. I kept my membership at the Y and did 35 minutes on the eliptical and hour of yoga class. Some might consider this excessive but I wanted to make sure that I went down easily tonight as I start back to work tomorrow.
I did it with my mentor C and I felt very good afterword. Now the subway meatball sub I ate afterwords probably cancelled out any caloric benefit I had gained, but I loved the soreness I have in my muscles makes it all the worth while.

I fear it: Work. I know I have people there who believe in me. But the pure hate that others emit just wears me down. It really has made me realize that I feed off other moods tremendously. I let others up and downs govern my behaviour. I know that it comes from my youth and my childhood, but it is so autonomic that it really needs to stop.

I thought this was going to be a long winded blog, but I'm beginning to wind down. I hope to be asleep by midnight.