'Cause some things should be left well enough alone

I went over a friends house from church who is very pregnant (as opposed to just a little right? tee heee)and due about 3 weeks with number 5 (Bless her heart!). I wanted help her so I decided I would cook for her. I made shepherds pie, garlic bread and brownies. Some of my normal stuff right? Wrong there bucko. She is in to organic stuff and she bought bison meat instead of what Lewis Black would call "red moo cow fuck beef". It looks deceptively normal in the package:



However, there is such a difference in comparison with ground chuck in taste and not in a good way. I am still tasting Bison even though I've tried to kill the taste with chocolate, milk and water. I swear to god my tongue is swelling. Never ever again. The only way I can describe it is like eating medium rare meat. Now I know the meat I cooked was not medium rare, 'cause I browned it, but good god,it might as been a meal for Nosforetu himself for all the blood taste to it...



I guess what I've learned is that some things you just don't fuck with. My ma's shephard's pie recipe is one of them.
Sorry for the cussing, but, that's my mood tonight. So no Ted Turner, I will not be dining at your restaurant anytime soon.

I did however, get fresh eggs from the adventure, I think, I'm going to have them tomorrow with toast. They are suppposed to be high in omega-3 which is supposed to be good for depression.

Little Girl V. Grown-up

Okay so here's my thing.

I saw my t-doc today. As usual she annoys me. Why? Cause she constantly challenges me. she challenges me to think of things differently. I guess she wouldn't think of herself a a licensed cognitive therapist otherwise. She got this metaphor going in my head of little girl v. a grown-up and how I'm fighting growing up emotionally. It's so true and that's probably why I am so annoyed by it; I really don't feel like I can do anything about it.

But I know I can. (Does anyone want to read the Little Engine that could to me?)I feel the world sees me a emotionally immature. (Yes, there I go again using generalizations like the "world", but that's what it feels like. I am having a real hard time coping.)



Maybe I just need a nap and med adjustment.

The type of people you will meet in a mental hospital.

dentists on 4 day weekends
restaurant owners
People who raise crickets for a living
Annuity Analysts
Home makers
Moms
Dads
People who were invited to try out for the Olympics but can't because their in the hospital.
Smokers, definitely smokers
Sucidial people who miss their dead relatives and wish they could join them.
Military Elite
Self-Centered Southern Belles
Nicolas Cage Wanna-be therapists
Therapist who give you more hope than you could ever imagined.
People who can't laugh because they've forgotten how.
Ex-probation officers
Of Mice and Men.
"Strange Fruit" -by Billy Holiday.
Eddy Murphy's Mr. Roger's who know as a job as a cafeteria worker.
Some of the coolest LPN's and RN's ever.
Gene Wilder's Son who is now an orderly.
Shirley Mclain's alter ego in the form a modern day Nurse Ratchet.
Ukranian Sex sadists

ME

Sheer Stupidity

A blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago....


Saturday, I had been running errands in my car when I had gotten thirsty and I had bought a vanilla milkshake from Chic-fil-a. I thought I had finished it all didn't bother to take the container from my car. (Silly me). When I get in my car to go to work on Monday I notice this rank smell, (worse than usual) and I look down at my center console to see milkshake container does indeed have remainents(I thought I had finished it all) - and it has started to curdle and stink up the place.

Me being in a rush, I thought I could wait until I was at work to throw out the offending item, but oh for the love of all things holy, the smell was horrible. So I stopped my car by the apartment complex dumpster to throw out the offending item.

It was then that I had one of those Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign moments.



I threw my keys in the dumpster.

Shit,


And the horrible thing about it was that they had just emptied the dumpster so my keys were just sitting on bottom sitting in a puddle of nasty garbage juicy just teasing me saying come get me idiot So here I am all dressed up for work, (wearing my hair down mind you) and now I have to devise a scheme to get the keys. I think hey no problem, I'll just go back into my apartment and get my broom.


Oh yeah that's right, my apartment key is on the key chain. I manage find a stick and start trying to play in the garbage garbage juice and just as I think I'm going to be rewarded with the prize of my keys, I fumble the stick and it too falls in the dumpster.

.
Here comes the saving grace, my next door neighbor comes to throw her trash away and I ask for a broom and chair. She obliges, and with a couple of grunts and groans I manage to get the keys. During the process however, I treat the passebys to a splendid view of my derriere swinging in the just rising sun. ..




Now the keys are muddied, greasy and covered with 30 apartments worth of refuse, My arms up to my elbows are covered with what I hope is mud and I rush back into my apartment to hose off. I have to change my clothes and rinse the keys.


So If I smell today, you can tell everyone that I went dumpster diving.

Having a bad day

I am having a bad day. These drugs have made my head incredibly foggy. As I write the things I see myself saying are incredibly trite; i.e. the inability to focus, the irritability, the lack of interest in anything for an extended period of time etc.

Right now I am struggling with telling people about my illness. I have so much pride that I am stuggling with who to tell and who not to tell. My major support system is church and I feel that if I tell them that I would be eliminated for any future leadership opportunities in church. I find this completely ironic considering that I would want to lead something in church considering that I can barely keep my apartment clean.

I'm not suicidal or anything, I just don't know my ass from my elbow these days. I think I need to see my p-med doctor again. I just saw him on Friday and he told me that I needed to come off the Topamax. So it will be the Pristiq and the Abilify only only. I am fighting Depakote/Lithiium as they weight gaining drugs and I so don't need to go there.

Things worthy of note when entering a mental hospital.

1. Think Airplane security. For the most part, you are not allowed the same type of sharp objects such as razors, nail clippers or scissors. Note: I was not allowed my needlepoint crosstich work as these were deemed dangerous.

2. No shoe laces, belts our drawstrings are allowed. These things are considered items patients could harm themselves with.

3. You probably will need a calling card as you can't have a cell phone. In general, most calls are limited to 15-20 minutes. Don't forget to write down the numbers off your cell phone!

4. If you smoke, seriously considering purchasing a carton or see to it that your family will make sure you are fully supplied. Not all places have cigarette machines.

5. Do not bring of anything of value with you as there is no promise made by staff that things will not grow legs and walk away. Case in point someone stole my hair comb and I was forced to used a cheap variety that wreaked havoc on my naturally curly hair.

6. You will be stripped searched so don't even think of smuggling in anything via your nether regions.

7. If you say you think you want to hurt yourself, you will be put in the line of sight watch of someone for at least 72 hours.

8. You probably won't sleep soundly as your are constantly being watched by people at all hours of the night.

9. Bring your own entertainment. While some wards have puzzle and books, these iteams are often of a used and/or poor quality. Bring your own books, pens, paper, playing cards (no spiral notebooks - wire is considered harming agent), puzzlebooks etc. Believe it or not coloring is big with all ages and genders so crayons and coloring books are allowed!

10. You will need change for the vending machines; Bring small bills (1's and 5's) and keep them on you at all times. A good general is rule is about 3 dollars per day, but this may depend on your appetite and the hospital you stay ate.

My hiatus

Did a stint in the hospital in an effort to stabilize. feel a bit better. More blogs willl be forth coming.